Week 10, Nausea Galore

I'm linking up today for My Pregnancy Journal at My Joy-filled Life.  If you are a pregnant blogger, please visit and join us!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart...

Jeremiah 1:5 

How far along are you?  

I am 10 weeks straight up today.  It sure feels like time is creeping along.  Even this early, I'm really ready to get to the "good part"!

Best Moment this week?

I was very tired, had a migraine and was laying in bed trying to recover myself.  My husband came in and I misunderstood something he said as he walked to the bathroom.  I was getting myself up to fuming and when he came back out, he graciously told me to stay in bed as long as I needed, he would keep the kids out of the room.  Stunned!  Blessed! 

Prayer requests?

I find myself so often lately thinking the worst of people, especially my hubby.  It's so easy to just make an assumption of motive or cause and jump to the wrong conclusion, as evidenced by the above statement.  Pray for my slowness to conclusions.

Also on my mind is money, insurance, and the deductible that starts over at the beginning of the year.  Since baby is due just 2 weeks into January 2013, I'm afraid we are going to get stuck with the ENTIRE bill out of pocket.  Please pray for my peace.

One last thing.  On my next visit I have to take all my meds to show the midwives.  I'm hesitant about that since everything in my body is so balanced right now, working so well, and I don't want them to tell me that one of my meds is a deal breaker and they won't do my delivery.  I need to have full honesty with them for the health and safety of my baby and myself.  No matter what.

Baby's growth?

My baby is the size of a kumquat (a what?) or a prune (more understandable).  That is, about an inch long with a wide, high forehead where the brain is taking over.  Baby has fused eyelids, hair starting to grow on the body, and four chambers to the heart.

Symptoms?
Oh. My. GOSH. Of all my pregnancies, I don't recall being this nauseated with any but the first.  Good heavens, I can't wait for food to sound good again and eating to be less of a chore.

Medical Stuff?
I'm seeing midwives, so I probably won't have another ultrasound unless I choose one at 20 weeks.  I told the midwife that I would wait and see where we are then.  

I'm also watching my blood sugars since I had gestational diabetes with my fifth child.  I successfully used a kinesiologist and herbs during my last pregnancy to avoid both high blood pressure and high blood sugar.  I'm on the same program this time.  My only concern is the morning levels are just a snitch high, hovering around 100 when they should be under 100.

 
Weight gain (or loss)?

Gained 1 lb since the beginning of this pregnancy.  Since I was overweight to begin with, this is okay.  Also, I was on a great diet/exercise kick when I got pregnant and lost 21.5 lbs.  Now, I'm gaining a bit but reminding myself that it's not just fat.  I also find that when I walk consistently, I not only feel better, but the water weight stays off.

What Made Me Cry This Week?

Why hello constant mood swings.  I cried yesterday because I sent a text message to a friend (okay, several) and she had to tell me that she pays per text so quit it.  I felt so smacked down and low.  I cried today because hubby didn't appreciate how I jury-rigged a device to pump bike tires when I couldn't find the right attachment for the air compressor.

Sleep?

What's that?  On a good night I get four or so hours uninterrupted.  I also try to nap or at least sit and rest during the afternoon.

Maternity Clothes?

Nothing is fitting my waist.  I have had to get creative with summer dresses and have started looking for some maternity items from Old Navy.  I'm plus size (said that before) and have to look pretty hard for the things that I like, are modest, and fit as I wish.

Discussion Question:  What is the must-have item(s) that you pack in your hospital bag?  Or, if you are having a home birth, what is the must-have item(s) that must be readily available?

 

I'm having a home birth (yay!!) and MUST HAVE a pool to labor in.  I didn't get to birth in it last time, but maybe this time.  Chicky Punk damaged my sciatic nerve and I couldn't walk, easy move my leg, or feel my toes for several months after her birth.  She was born on the couch in the family room.  Sadly, the kids threw the cat in the pool (why?!) and she popped the wonderful labor pool I had.  It was even decorated with friendly ocean creatures.  I will have to get another, I guess.

Homeschool Prayer

I'm having one of those days days when I wish my kids weren't around.  Homeschooling, while a blessing, is quite often a trial for me, too.  I miss the days when the kids went off to school for 8 hours a day, leaving me with a clean house, time for myself, and sanity.

  Here's a small prayer that I sure can use.

 

Thank you to Raising Arrows for this prayer.

Walking Through Fire

A Twitter friend wrote this article and I just enjoyed reading so very much.  There is so much truth inside her words that I just couldn't NOT share it with you.  There is so much running away from the hard things in life, especially in marriage.  One out of every 2 marriages ends in divorce.  How sad is that?

True.  I have never had a divorce of my own.  But also true, my mother has been through two, so I have been through two.  My parents divorced when I was in the fifth grade.  Can you imagine what trauma that was to an on-the-cusp preteen who was already dissatisfied with her self image?  Not to mention that on top of the divorce, my mom went out and started dating immediately and eventually brought home the biggest loser of all: my physically and verbally abuse to children, unfaithful to her, first step-father.

Yes.  She apologizes left and right for this mistake.  And she is now married to the very best man around, other than my own dad.  But imagine what this taught my vulnerable self?  Marriage was temporary at best and not something to stay committed to for long.  And any old guy to hop in the sack with was okay: the kids and their feelings sure didn't matter.

I'm not saying stay married for the kids' sake, especially if the marriage is abusive.  But God doesn't want us to divorce, be abusive or make the wrong choices.  My religion tells me that no man can dissolve what He has united in marriage.

So read this article in its fullness.  Please take the time to read and ponder upon it. Pray about it.  Pray for those who feel that divorce is the easiest (and only) answer.  May God with them and you.  It starts out like this:

If ever there was a romance that started off with a bang it was ours. It was love at first sight—the kind of love affair that many have trouble believing exists until they find themselves swept up in one of their own. We fell, rolled head over heels, and saw stars. It was cliché, yes, but also extraordinary.

Continue reading Refined by Fire

Another great read by a Twitter "tweep": Hooking Up, Shacking Up & Other Marriage Busters


image courtesy MorgueFile

Attention America

I found this on the Katie Pundit site and couldn't NOT share it. It has touched my whole family, not just me.

Fingertip Grips Holding Pattern

I'm  still trying to decide if we go Midwife for homebirth or freebirth (no attendant).  You can read the backstory here and here.  I bought several books on emergency childbirth and am asking Hubbers to read them, since it will all be on his shoulders if we freebirth.  As of now, he tells me he will be more comfortable with a professional attendant there.  I'm still freaked out by the money.  $3300 or more!

I've been praying for an answer to this question for several weeks now.  I haven't heard an answer yet, but God has His time, and I mine.  They don't often match up.  A good friend just told me that He will answer and she believes that a freebirth would be just fine for us. 

And it's true.  95% of labor and birth is completely free of problems.  But it's the remaining 5% that scares the socks off me.  I would be out of my mind if something happened to our baby that could have been prevented with professional attendance.

I read a post by A Wife Loved Like the Church today that provided me a Bible quote I really liked:

“They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.” Psalm 112:7

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.” Psalm 103:4


Yes, this speaks to me today, worry wart control freak and all.  God is with me in all things, great and small.  My heart needs to relax and all will be revealed by Him in His time.  So pray for me, my patience, my listening, and my required answer.

Peace

May He support us all the day long,

Till the shades lengthen,

And the evening comes,

And the busy world is hushed,

And the fever of life is over,

And our work is done!

Then in His mercy,

May He give us a safe lodging

And a holy rest,

And peace at the last!

-John Henry Newman

And oh, yes.  12 weeks baby, heard the heartbeat last week for the first time.

Let Us Pray

We were in slow-moving traffic and the car in front of us had a Obama bumper sticker on it. It read:

"Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8"

My husband's Bible was lying on the dash board. He got it, opened it up to the scripture and read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me.

I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.

Psalm 109:8
"Let his days be few; and let another take office. "

Let us pray . . . AMEN



In speaking of praying, my little man goes in for his tonsil surgery at 6am this morning. Pray that he comes through clean and easy. I'm worried for him, but at the same time, not. It's in God's hands.

Telling it Like it IS!

Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate in January 1996. It seems prayer still upsets some people.

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance.

We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our fore-fathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.

Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by you, to govern this great state.

Grant them your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of your will. I ask it in the name of your son, the living savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen!

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'one nation under God.'

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.

I looked for an item debunking on Snopes for this article and found nothing on numerous searches, although this prayer has been attributed to Billy Graham.

I've said it before: Please pray for our President, our country, our morals.

23 Minutes in Hell

No, that's not a comment on the fact that Hubbers is on a business conference trip to St Louis for the next little while and I'm home with all the kids. It's the title of an amazing book I've been reading today.

I've always wondered about hell. What it is like, what happens there, and even (though I already know the answer to this one) how do I *know* I won't be there? How could I ever be good enough for God and heaven?

This book is a great, addicting read and answers these questions. I'd highly recommend it, even though it's not written from my Catholic point of view. Then again, I'm a convert.



I'm scared to die. I'm so awfully frightened of what is inevitable for all of us. I think it's because I don't know what's coming next - what comes after. No one has actually come back and told us, now have they?

Am I alone in this? Are the rest of you so beatific that you don't worry about such things? My small mind can't even being to comprehend NOT having a life as I know it.

Such big thoughts for a Thursday night. Pray for me and all who still have doubts, worries, questions. And for those who have already passed on. And check out this awesome book.

(Poke, Poke at Obama)

(giggle, snort!)

As the CFO of this business that employs 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that with Barack Obama as our next President, our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them. If you have a better idea, let me know.

Nah, it's not me. I'm a joint chair of the home and exalted (not) bookkeeper. (That's the one who gets in trouble when the checking account balance is lower than expected and Hubbers wants to purchase something and doesn't get the OK.)

In all honesty, please pray for our elected officials. Their job, while well compensated, is hard and stressful. God needs to be with each one of our leaders and give them integrity, honesty, ethical behavior, and Godly guidance during their terms.

------------------------------------------------

And don't forget Black Friday is COMING!! Day after Thanksgiving, don't brave the mall or horribly crowded stores for great deals. Shop from the comfort of your home using your keyboard.

Prayer Request

I have a horrible time post partum. After the birth of Roo Boo I had such bad PPD that I was ordered to seek care. I missed the first three months of her life, sadly. With The Boy I knew it was coming and had my MIL come care for me for a week. With BB, it's like I totally forgot that this was a part of my life.

I feel crumby. General anxiety and plain old sadness are upon me again. At least this time I don't feel like getting out of bed will kill me - that bed is simply where I must be. I've spoken with my Dr and changed my meds (upped the dosage) but it takes about a week to kick in. I hit my "week" on this coming Monday and am praying for relief.

On the advice of another PPD mom I also hit the herbal store and started taking Red Raspberry, Blue Cohosh and Ginko Biloba.

As the baby starts to fuss for me again, I must sign off. Please pray for me, my friends. I need His strength to get through this minute by minute.

Happy Beautiful Fourth!

It's hot here today, cloudy but not humid, thankfully. We'll do fireworks as a family tonight and enjoy each other. I very much like the giant ones that look like a flower!


Bratwurst, salad, chips for dinner tonight with leftover birthday cake for dessert. Hubbers is off playing with a buddy - how they can play Halo for hours in a row, I just don't know. But he deserved a day off, didn't he?

So, just rambling on now, nothing much I feel like doing. I did come to a decision about the baby, though. His health is so much more important than my comfort. Should he not make his appearance before my Dr appointment on Monday, we'll schedule the induction for Wednesday. Please continue to pray for me, for us. Every prayer is a comforting hug.



image: Morgue File

Dilemma, Conundrum, Heavy Thoughts

I saw the Dr for my 37.5 week appointment on Monday and got some heavy news. Because I'm insulin dependent for the gestational diabetes, I have a higher risk of stillbirth closer to and beyond my due date. The long and short of it is that the Dr wants to induce on next Wednesday.

The thought of stillbirth, of losing a second child in less than a year is horrendous. I have no doubt that should something happen, I would be unhinged for quite a while. The anxious mommy part of me says "YES! Let's have the baby right NOW!!"

But I had hoped for so much different this time around. I wanted a naturally starting labor, no drugs (my labors are about 4 hours long), a doula, a VBAC. With an induction, I have a 2x greater risk of another C section. With each intervention I get further and further away from my goal of natural childbirth.

Hubbers is set against an induction. "It will be fine", he says. "The baby will be fine. Nothing will happen to the baby." How can he assure me of that? How does he know? He will do what I want, what I decide. The doula tells me that we must both be at absolute peace with whatever decision we make. She tells me that she'll support me in whatever decision I make.

My body is changing, the cervix is dilating (at 2 on Monday) and softening. I bought some black cohosh to help stimulate contractions and have been taking it since Monday but nothing yet. I think I've seen some of the mucous plug, but then again...

My wants are warring with each other and I don't feel competent to make this decision. I want it all, the entire dream wrapped up in a silk ribbon. I'm praying that God takes the decision out of my hands and brings the baby on his own before Monday when I have to present the Dr with my decision. Every little twinge, each sleepless, restless night, every backache seems to torment me.

Pray for me, dear bloggy buds, to have God's great and glorious wisdom and good counsel in this decision.

Meanwhile, Roo Boo is turning 7 today!! My baby girl. When did she get so big?

She picked out her own cake this year - pink and yellow with a play cell phone on top. I got her gifts that I hope she loves - a moses basket for her baby doll, velvet coloring pages, a mini radio for her room, and so on.

I didn't get the invitations sent out for her friends party in time, so after the kids get back from Vacation Bible School in SLC with Gramma, we'll have the friends over for a party. I feel bad about my slackness, but I hope she understands. She says she does, but then again, she's only 7.

My baby girl. My Roo Boo. Happy birthday, you drama queen.

Edwina Froehlich

Dear Friends,

It is with the deepest sadness that we share with you that Edwina Froehlich, co-Founder of La Leche League International, passed away on June 8, 2008 at Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights, Illinois, USA, after suffering a stroke on May 25. Edwina is survived by her three sons, three daughters-in-law and nine grandchildren as well as her many friends and the organization she helped found.

Funeral and memorial arrangements are pending. Please visit www.llli.org/edwina.html for more information and to leave a message at the online memorial to Edwina.

Sincerely,

Jane Tuttle, Chairman of the Board
Barbara Emanuel, Executive Director

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Letter from Edwina's Family:

From Pete Froehlich on Sunday, June 8, 2008

Friends,

Edwina passed peacefully at 5 am this morning at Northwest Community hospital in Arlington Heights. Edwina has donated her body to the Anatomical Gift Society, to be studied at the University of Illinois medical center. Her body is not available for us to wake, however, the family plans on having a celebration of her life at a venue in the northwest suburbs, at a time and place still to be determined. If any one has pictures or videos of Edwina you would be willing to supply for her celebration, please communicate to me.

Thank you for the emails, hospital visits, flowers, cards and messages. Your support was wonderful! Edwina's spirit continues to live on in her three sons, three daughter-in-laws, and nine grandchildren. We will communicate the arrangements for her CELEBRATION as soon as they are determined, and Edwina's family sincerely hopes you are able to attend.


Pete Froehlich

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.

Randomness

I need to get some more potting soil and put those poor wilty tomatoes out of their misery.

My bathroom is dirty and needs cleaned, but as I told Fried Okra on Twitter just minutes ago, bathroom dirty? Close your eyes!

I gotta update my Netflix Queue - some good movies I NEED to rent and have mailed straight to my door!

My table is buried in life's messes. Jerky bag, fruit roll ups box, gumballs, otter pops, kids allergy meds - I hit Sam's Club today! Box Tops for Education fliers to be sorted and sent to students, Box Tops to mail off, Campbell's labels, a custom costume for a sweet almost 7 yr old this Halloween, cloth napkins to sort into clean vs dirty, a gift basket won in a raffle at an event we didn't even attend! Luck be upon us!

Anyone ever see Juno? Was it good or stupid? I'm so very pro-life that I can't abide stupidness about the birth or abortion non-decision.

I can't seem to remember to take my blood sugars after lunch lately - or even eat lunch at all! I'm just not hungry and on the weekends? I'm off and running and forget to eat. Thankfully the trend in the blood sugars is good - my gestational diabetes educator is happy!

My little one is still laying transverse with his head to the right, cushioned oh-so-nicely upon the placenta. Please pray that he turns to the "locked and loaded" position soon. I dread another induction or C section.

My iced tea is gone, my kids are running the yard like hooligans, and I'm darn happy. Tired, but happy.

Keeping His Commands

The Gospel Reading for today:
Jn 14:15-21

Jesus said to his disciples:
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
And I will ask the Father,
and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always,
the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept,
because it neither sees nor knows him.
But you know him, because he remains with you,
and will be in you.
I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
In a little while the world will no longer see me,
but you will see me, because I live and you will live.
On that day you will realize that I am in my Father
and you are in me and I in you.
Whoever has my commandments and observes them
is the one who loves me.
And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father,
and I will love him and reveal myself to him.”

Keeping the commandments sounds like such an easy task. After all, they boil down to love God and love one another. So why do we fail?

I often find myself snarking at others, wishing them ill or hoping the worst. Even in the privacy of my heart this is breaking the commandments.

I'm trying to curb myself of this bad bad habit. I try to pray for that person in traffic who isn't being courteous or awake. I ask forgiveness for my evil thoughts.

Keep me in your prayers for this, please.

Empowerment then Down Low

I had my first Gestational Diabetes class yesterday and came home armed with a monitor and supplies, as well as lots to read and learn. I was elated to see my first reading right where it belonged! I felt so empowered. I could do it! I was going to beat this thing!

Since then, they have all been far too much out of tolerance. How is it that I can get a good blood sugar reading for lunch yesterday (115), eat the same thing for lunch today (to the T!) and get a horrible reading of 140?! The reading is supposed to be under 120 to be "good".

I have a call into the Wellness Center to see what the answer might be. Of course, my educator told me yesterday, based on my blood readings from the 3 hour Glucose Tolerance Test that I would most likely be taking insulin to combat this problem since diet alone would probably not fix the problem. We decided to monitor my blood sugars for a week and then see what to do. She told me that it would probably take a good week for me to learn the dietary method, but I've been zealous, dang it!

I felt so awesome yesterday after lunch. I had done it! Now, I feel kinda low. It's a betrayal by my body. So say a prayer for my mental and physical health. Heavens knows that I need it right now.



According to the Wellness Center, hormones are probably to blame for my readings. Stress, previous day activity levels, and so on can ALSO mess with levels. Come to think of it, I am feeling more hormonally unstable today than yesterday. I may cry now...

School Called On Account of...

EXTREME COLD!! It was -40 degrees F this morning with wind chill.

Now that's COLD.

Please, God, let there be school tomorrow!! Mom can only take so many "snow days".


Update on WhyMommy:

WhyMommy is up and twittering. She says she is coherent and hungry. She also reports that she is alive.

Go on and celebrate with me!

- Stimeyland

TOMORROW!!

If you've been reading my blog longer than the past few minutes, you know I've been talking about WhyMommy's surgery tomorrow. Yes, TOMORROW!!

Through it all, I've seen WhyMommy be only determined to make it through, beat the cancer, be there for her family. I don't think I've seen one post that is sad, downhearted, trodden upon.

Much more important than anything else I have to post - please join me in prayers for WhyMommy as she goes through her double mastectomy tomorrow.

Here's her prayer, right from her site:

Please pray for me one more day — for strength. For healing. But most of all for clean margins — that the surgeon can remove all the cancer from my body successfully. It’s the only thing I need.

Hail Holy Queen

My daughter requested this prayer tonight during our bedtime prayers. Since I only know the beginning and the end, not that pesky middle, I had to look it up. Here is it for you, in case you don't know that pesky middle either.

Hail, Holy Queen

Hail, holy Queen, Mother of Mercy!
Our life, our sweetness, and our hope!
To thee do we cry, poor banished
children of Eve, to thee do we send
up our sighs, mourning and weeping
in this valley, of tears.
Turn, then, most gracious advocate,
thine eyes of mercy toward us; and
after this our exile show unto us the
blessed fruit of thy womb Jesus;
O clement, O loving, O sweet virgin Mary.

Pray for us, O holy Mother of God

That we may be made worthy of the
promises of Christ.





from Catholic Supply