Fingertip Grips Holding Pattern

I'm  still trying to decide if we go Midwife for homebirth or freebirth (no attendant).  You can read the backstory here and here.  I bought several books on emergency childbirth and am asking Hubbers to read them, since it will all be on his shoulders if we freebirth.  As of now, he tells me he will be more comfortable with a professional attendant there.  I'm still freaked out by the money.  $3300 or more!

I've been praying for an answer to this question for several weeks now.  I haven't heard an answer yet, but God has His time, and I mine.  They don't often match up.  A good friend just told me that He will answer and she believes that a freebirth would be just fine for us. 

And it's true.  95% of labor and birth is completely free of problems.  But it's the remaining 5% that scares the socks off me.  I would be out of my mind if something happened to our baby that could have been prevented with professional attendance.

I read a post by A Wife Loved Like the Church today that provided me a Bible quote I really liked:

“They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.” Psalm 112:7

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.” Psalm 103:4


Yes, this speaks to me today, worry wart control freak and all.  God is with me in all things, great and small.  My heart needs to relax and all will be revealed by Him in His time.  So pray for me, my patience, my listening, and my required answer.