Feb 7, 2007

Works for Me Wednesday - Love, Sweet Love Edition!

Yes, it's the SWEETIES Edition! So, the challenge for today's WFMW is:

...share with us the best relationship advice you can give. Or, share with us some ideas for making Valentine's Day special for your sweetie or your kids.


I kind of wrote this from the NEW mom view, but ANY mom (or woman, heck it's omni-directional!) could use it. Check this out:

When you’re a mom there is so much to do every day with your precious bundle(s) that it is easy to forget where that baby came from – the love of your husband and yourself! A marriage is just as important after babies, and perhaps even more so. In my house, the daddy goes to work and mommy stays home to care for the babies. But babies go to bed and it’s at that time that I turn my attention to my husband and marriage.

(Disclaimer: I know that it’s politically incorrect to refer to “spouse”, but that’s the way I’m heading since I firmly believe that kids do best with both a married mommy AND a daddy.)

But I’m so TIRED! you say. Not to worry, you don’t have to do acrobatics to pay attention to your husband. Working on your marriage (and I will not be addressing the intimate side) can be as simple as sitting together when baby is asleep (in bed, in the swing, in your arms, whatever it takes) and talking about inconsequential things, cuddling together and talking before bed, showering together and talking, just plain spending time together. Finding the few odd minutes and bits together can be more fun than several long hours.

Did you notice what was all the same about those suggestions? Talking. Talking is an essential part of this formula, and not only about baby. Daddy will have more on his mind than just diapers and homework. He needs to talk about his thoughts, needs, ideas, too. Men often seem so stoic and solid that we too often expect our men to act like the rock we see him as.

Try to remember all the talking you did when dating – remember how you couldn’t spend more than 10 minutes apart without wanting to call him and tell him this or that? Try to recapture that feeling now – a phone call during the day with nothing more than a love expression in mind really brightens the day!

Does your husband purchase his lunch every day? Have you considered packing him a lunch instead? Not only will this save you some much needed moolah, but it gives your husband a feeling of being special enough that you cared about something as small as lunch. My Hubbers takes his lunch to work every day and receives envious looks from the other workers because HIS wife cared enough to pack his lunch (and it doesn’t matter that it’s just leftovers from last night). Try slipping a little note in telling him how much you love and appreciate him.

And don’t forget to praise his efforts in everything from changing diapers, to listening to your 2nd grader laboriously read, to working so hard to support you and the kids! Men need to feel appreciated just as much as women do.

BUT WHAT ABOUT ME!! you wail. Not to worry. The better you take care of your husband and thereby your marriage, the better he will take care of you. When I put the examples here into practice at my own house, I saw a one hundred percent improvement in how Hubbers treated me. This is not to say I was treated badly to begin with, but that the amount of romance that I craved was increased dramatically.

Try to remember the feelings you had for your husband before you were so tired from your babies. They are still there, down deep, and implementing some of these techniques will help bring them up again AND help improve your marriage.

Good Luck!


An Ordinary Mom said...

I think that that was some great advice. It is so easy to lose track of the husband once the kids arrive. Communication is really the key!

I think your marriage will be just fine :) !!

Nikki said...

Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing this. I too believe it's all those little things that really add up.

Nikki All OUT Valentine's Day

Tammy L said...

Great advice, and don't you worry about saying "husband"... the world needs more people supporting marriage. :D

Jennifer said...

I agree. You forgot to emphasize the bedtime. Whether they are infants or in school, a regular bedtime has insured that hubby and I have time together alone each night.

LinesFromTheVine said...

It's so important to remember those hubbies! They aren't the ones tugging on your arm or jumping up and down but sometimes they are the ones who need your attention the most!

Great advice!

Qtpies7 said...

Wow, you are full of great ideas! I bet you would love the book I am recommending.

Lady Why said...

Terrific post! You are right on with your wise words!!

Proverbs31 said...

Great advice! You're right, it's important not to get "too tired" to pay attention to our husband at the end of the day.

And as Jennifer said, BEDTIME... it's so important to make that happen when it's supposed to happen and stay on top of that so you don't miss out on your time together (among other disciplinary reasons.) ;)

Honey said...

This is beautiful!

Jane said...

I am going to have to remember these tips for when we have kids! Thanks!

Stephanie said...

so true.

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