Mowing and Vacuuming Compared

Just came in from mowing the front lawn (saved the rest for Hubbers, lucky man!) and realized that vacuuming the carpet is JUST LIKE mowing the lawn! Same process.

1. Coerce kids into picking up all their [junk] [toys] treasured possessions and storing elsewhere. Bribe and/or threaten if necessary.

2. Make sure to go over their progress because sure as shooting they have missed several large specimens that will clog up the vacuum/mower and end up missing heads or legs or outfits.

3. Banish all shrieking children from the room/yard, thus allowing for a moment of peace without small helping hands and voices.

4. Mow in peace since it's too loud to hear yourself wheeze, much less the children. Vacuum in relative peace until the dog cowers behind the couch that the children are jumping upon in utter contentment until the "zooming" is done.

5. Duplicate yourself in that you teach Oldest Girl to vacuum and plan on teaching her to mow VERY. SOON! Then remember that you ALREADY taught Oldest to vacuum and she hides when called upon to do so. Wonder if she'll do the same for mowing or if it's enough of a novelty.

6. Consider [roping Curly Girl to] teaching Curly Girl to vacuum and wonder if it will curtail her incessant yelling at me.

Hiding outside in the freshly mown evening twilight until the kids hit the hay is optional, but highly recommended.